GITG | REDKNAPP'S RUN-IN RAMBLINGS

Jamie Redknapp doesn't believe in fairy tales.

The Sky Sports advert for the 'title run in' (which is a non entity) features Jamie Redknapp on "top top form" (using a jamieism against him there) as he blurts:

'I don't believe in fairytales, but Leicester is a fairytale'

Wow, just wow.

If you are going to spout clichés like some sort of cockney garden sprinkler, try not to contradict yourself WITHIN THE SAME SENTENCE.

'I don't believe in ghosts, but that's a ghost.'

'I don't believe in ghosts, but I'm a ghost.'

Other things Jamie doesn't believe in:

•  Elves

•  Harry Potter

•  Father Christmas

•  Buying suits that fit him

•  Braincells

•  Having a dad that people respect

GITG

GITG | EARED STRIKER DEFENDS CHINNED STRIKER IN PENALTY ROW

Leicester 2-2 West Ham: Vardy calls Jon Moss "fucking cunt" after receiving second booking.
Look at him.

After 34 matches Premier League officials finally crack down on toe punting divers Leicester City as Vardy receives second yellow for simulation in yet another drab Foxes performance.  

Jamie Vardy received his second yellow in his club’s 2-2 tie with West Ham United after he was adjudged to have dived following an Angelo Ogbonna non-challenge. Vardy did what he does so well, throwing his body between defender and ball in an attempt to fool the referee; thankfully, Jonathan Moss was not for turning.  A nailed-on stonewall dive.  

But not according to this berk: 

   

Following FA ruling that Jamie "the sweetheart" Vardy was to see his one match ban doubled for verbally abusing Moss after his sending off, Lineker petulantly went on to add:

 

"I never condone dissent, but..."

And just incase you thought Gary was joking, his blinkered outbursts didn’t end there.

Earlier this year Lineker was criticised for saying ‘people make mistakes’ regarding Jamie Vardy’s racist comments after he called an Asian man ‘Jap’ in a casino.

Vardy reportedly said, "Yo Jap, walk on" in late night casino bust up. 

Everything about this story is depressing. 

In an interview with the Guardian Lineker tried to further excuse the daft racist, saying: ‘I think it depends on how you say it, and where you say it.  But I know footballers, and they are generally really not racist at all.’

“How you say it, and where you say it”?  So if you’re racist in a South Yorkshire accent at a poker table it’s acceptable according to Lineker.  

Furthermore, “footballers are generally not racist”?  He’s actually lost it.

We didn’t see Lineker rushing to John Terry’s defence in 2012 when he racially abused Anton Ferdinand. 

He then went on to say: ‘I’m not trying to defend anyone’s actions but there are going to be isolated incidents because it’s an emotive, passionate sport.’  

What, poker?

Perhaps realising the possible downside to scrambling around on Twitter like a juiced-up mother hen every time Vardy breathes, Lineker tried to distance himself from his own comments, dismissing the interview as "random" and "bizarre":  

The common factor in both of these stories, of course, is just how deeply unpleasant Jamie Vardy is.       

BUT OH NO Lineker isn’t finished there:

Commenting on a Sunday Times report in which private doctor Mark Bonar claims to have prescribed banned performance-enhancing drugs to (among others) Leicester City players, Lineker said:

‘You can either play football or you can’t.  It might improve your stamina a little bit, I’m not an expert, but it ain’t gonna help you pass…it won’t make you a better player – it’s not cycling or athletics.’ 

Because fitness has absolutely nothing to do with playing ability?  

Lineker’s persistent disingenuous wide-eyed cascade of bullshit is systemic of the hysterical media led narrative surrounding Leicester City.  No amount of diving, time wasting, toe punting, racism, abuse and throwing of projectiles by fans at match officials, or tens of millions of pounds spent on players is going to get in the way of this “rags-to-riches” story.      

No sir.  Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.  

As for Lineker (and we love him really) his genuine unashamed bias would be forgivable if he wasn’t defending a cheating diving racist. 

IT’S A FAIRYTALE MUMMY!

GITG

GITG | TURKEY WATCH!

If you didn’t already think Turkish football was hilarious and mental and terrifying enough: 

Galatasary 2-1 Trabzonspor: Dursun sees red both metaphorically and literally as his side dwindles to 7 men 

Everyone’s favourite collection of consonants Trabzonspor made the headlines again as they went down to 7 men after player who showed red card to referee was himself sent off.  

Trabzonspor player Salih Dursun was sent off after taking the red card from referee Deniz Bitnel’s hand and brandishing it at him moments after his team mate had been sent off.

The referee made his way to an early bath, stripping off and cursing his performance before saying, “WAAAAIIITT A MINUITE!!!” and ran back on to the pitch to send Dursun off for being a cheeky cunt. 

Trabzonspor were left with just seven players, yet it wasn’t until a last minute Selcuk Inan penalty that Galatasaray were able to clinch a bizarre 2-1 victory.

This isn’t the first time this silly bugger of a club has been involved in such farcical antics.  

In October 2015 Trabzonspor president was banned for 280 days and fined 150,000 Turkish Lira after trying to keep referees locked in stadium overnight.   

Mentally ill: Ibrahim Hacıosmanoğlu

Trabzonspor club president demanded all four match officials were detained in the dressing room after they failed to award his team a penalty.

The actual president of Turkey had to personally intervene to ensure the release of the football referee who had been taken hostage by the Turkish club.

The club's president, Ibrahim Hacıosmanoğlu, ordered his team to lock the referee and his fellow match officials in the team's dressing room after the team were denied a penalty in their 2-2 draw with Gaziantepspor.

The mad bastard explained: “I told stadium security not to let the referees leave until the morning, until I arrived, but a very important person called me and asked me not to cause embarrassment in Turkey and around the world.”

Bit late for that mate.  

GITG 

GITG | SUNDERLAND LAY DOWN RED AND WHITE CARPET AS PLUCKY PUB TEAM HOOFS ONE STEP CLOSER TO PREMIER LEAGUE GLORY

Sunderland 0 - 2 Leicester City: Vardy puts his first of two past Lurch 

Today was a tricky one - here at GITG we want Sunderland to finally be relegated as much as we want Leicester to fuck this up.  

It doesn’t help that the Guardian now publishes 70 articles a minute predicting Leicester will win the league.  You’re hard.  No, Leicester aren’t “my new second team,” Guardian.  Far from it.  Because if you actually watch them play you’ll realise they play like a Sunday league team (who’ve spent £55m on players since joining the Premier League in 2014.)  

And yet every time Danny Drinkwater closes his eyes and hits the ball as hard as he can, teams - even after 33 three games played - appear powerless to stop Leicester’s two only good players from putting it in the net.  As Sunderland duly demonstrated this afternoon when Younes Kaboul, while doing his best impression of Lawrence Fishburne trying to play football, forgot to move and Vardy ruthlessly slotted a Drinkwater signature Hail Mary past Vito “please, God, not another 2nd rate ex-Arsenal goalkeeper” Mannone.

Sunderland, arguably the most pointless team in the world, let their pointless heads drop after that.  Two notable examples of this being when right back Van Aanholt pretty much just stopped playing, and when Fabio Borini decided to end it all by smashing one of Sunderland’s best chances into his own face.

The other fell to Jack Rodwell late on who instead of scoring an underserved but pleasing equaliser did what any self respecting 25 year old footballer-in-decline would do and that’s miss an open goal to the disappointment of everyone dear to him.

Almost inevitably Leicester went on to extend their lead shortly after.  Vardy sped past Van Aanholt who was now standing on the halfway line staring at a dandelion, and rounded the on rushing Mannone before tapping the ball into an empty net.    

Vardy celebrated his second goal by shh’ing the Sunderland fans ..why?  They’ve suffered enough. What’s more the stand was practically empty, so Vardy was shh’ing an empty stand - empty stands by their very nature are silent.  So he was telling the absence of sound to be quiet.  Good one mate.

This sore winner attitude isn’t exclusive to Leicester’s rat faced assassin.  As my Tottenham supporting GITG co-writer pointed out: 

Well, he’d know.  

So where does this leave our teams?  Sunderland should have been automatically relegated after today’s performance, but until this becomes an option we’re just going to have to endure their annual last hurrah for safety just so they can repeat the whole pathetic charade next season and the season after that.  

An internet Sunderland fan once angrily tried to justify their Premier League status to me by saying that 50,000 people turn up to watch them every week.  I must remember to use that argument next time I’m defending public lapidation.  

As for media darlings Leicester their routine win today puts them 10 points ahead in the title race, which is slightly disappointing as it renders Tottenham’s subsequent mouthwatering tie with Manchester United all but redundant.  Tottenham should steamroll this one, but their visitors are wankers and have a history of “winning in the manner of champions” (which is media bias for “deserved to lose but somehow nicked it.”)   

Anyway, this victory for Ranieri’s men comes on the back of four one-nil wins, a run reminiscent of Mourinho’s title winning Chelsea, relentlessly grinding out results like a mechanical East German lap dancer.   

Before the Guardian publish any more gushing articles about how they discovered Leicester City - too late - anyway, before they post another - oh, too late - anyway before Leicester actually win the league, let’s remember, out of the title challengers, these route one playing time wasting cunts have one of the toughest home straights: West Ham (H), Swansea (H), Manchester United (A), Everton (H), Chelsea (A).  Grabbing those three wins to clinch the title might not be as guaranteed as it so blatantly is.  Anyway, if they fuck this up it will be the funniest thing ever to happen in football ever.   And if it does all go tits up instead of pizza, maybe Ranieri should serve them all slice of humble pie.  

Now fuck off.

GITG