GIT OF THE WEEK #7

Demonstration during Arsenal's shrug of a 1-0 win was dismissed as little more than “irritating” by post-match interviewer, in doing so he opened the flood gates for our Git Of The Week..

This week the award goes to perpetual git, Mark Lawrenson, who today on MOTD Extra called the Emirates demonstration ‘a pretty pathetic protest’.  

Lawro’s alliterative bile is not only a desperate attempt to be funny, it's symptomatic of the ugly media disdain for non-linear narratives.  

“Who won the protest?”  The presenter asks.  “The fors, the againsts?”  With all the subtly and critical dexterity of a gorilla punching a typewriter.  In creating this false dichotomy pundits willingly sidestep meaningful discussion; by belittling fan sentiment they contribute to their disenfranchisement.

Lawro’s poisonous outburst resembles more Jeremy Cunt on junior doctors, Nicky Moron on teachers, or Michael Gove on anybody who isn’t Michael Gove.  Arsenal fans are to be laughed at.  

In truth, they can do no right: “silent” one moment, silenced the next.  

In a time when clubs spin more red tape than a menstruating garden spider, fan disconnection has never been greater.  Beachballs at The Valley, fly-bys at Goodison Park, and now in-fighting at The Emirates.  

These crude attempts to be heard is the discussion: a symptom of a modern game when scantily clad dressing room selfies counts as dialogue.  For journalists to laugh this particular demonstration off from such a privileged position is shameful.  But then Lawro is clearly used to ignoring symptoms seeing as his body is now 80% plasticine. 

Anyway, I’m sure if Leicester cheat their way to being champions today we can expect a nice and cosy article with an easily digestible narrative: ‘Pensioner Wins Lottery.’  

GITG | REDKNAPP'S RUN-IN RAMBLINGS

Jamie Redknapp doesn't believe in fairy tales.

The Sky Sports advert for the 'title run in' (which is a non entity) features Jamie Redknapp on "top top form" (using a jamieism against him there) as he blurts:

'I don't believe in fairytales, but Leicester is a fairytale'

Wow, just wow.

If you are going to spout clichés like some sort of cockney garden sprinkler, try not to contradict yourself WITHIN THE SAME SENTENCE.

'I don't believe in ghosts, but that's a ghost.'

'I don't believe in ghosts, but I'm a ghost.'

Other things Jamie doesn't believe in:

•  Elves

•  Harry Potter

•  Father Christmas

•  Buying suits that fit him

•  Braincells

•  Having a dad that people respect

GITG

GITG | EARED STRIKER DEFENDS CHINNED STRIKER IN PENALTY ROW

Leicester 2-2 West Ham: Vardy calls Jon Moss "fucking cunt" after receiving second booking.
Look at him.

After 34 matches Premier League officials finally crack down on toe punting divers Leicester City as Vardy receives second yellow for simulation in yet another drab Foxes performance.  

Jamie Vardy received his second yellow in his club’s 2-2 tie with West Ham United after he was adjudged to have dived following an Angelo Ogbonna non-challenge. Vardy did what he does so well, throwing his body between defender and ball in an attempt to fool the referee; thankfully, Jonathan Moss was not for turning.  A nailed-on stonewall dive.  

But not according to this berk: 

   

Following FA ruling that Jamie "the sweetheart" Vardy was to see his one match ban doubled for verbally abusing Moss after his sending off, Lineker petulantly went on to add:

 

"I never condone dissent, but..."

And just incase you thought Gary was joking, his blinkered outbursts didn’t end there.

Earlier this year Lineker was criticised for saying ‘people make mistakes’ regarding Jamie Vardy’s racist comments after he called an Asian man ‘Jap’ in a casino.

Vardy reportedly said, "Yo Jap, walk on" in late night casino bust up. 

Everything about this story is depressing. 

In an interview with the Guardian Lineker tried to further excuse the daft racist, saying: ‘I think it depends on how you say it, and where you say it.  But I know footballers, and they are generally really not racist at all.’

“How you say it, and where you say it”?  So if you’re racist in a South Yorkshire accent at a poker table it’s acceptable according to Lineker.  

Furthermore, “footballers are generally not racist”?  He’s actually lost it.

We didn’t see Lineker rushing to John Terry’s defence in 2012 when he racially abused Anton Ferdinand. 

He then went on to say: ‘I’m not trying to defend anyone’s actions but there are going to be isolated incidents because it’s an emotive, passionate sport.’  

What, poker?

Perhaps realising the possible downside to scrambling around on Twitter like a juiced-up mother hen every time Vardy breathes, Lineker tried to distance himself from his own comments, dismissing the interview as "random" and "bizarre":  

The common factor in both of these stories, of course, is just how deeply unpleasant Jamie Vardy is.       

BUT OH NO Lineker isn’t finished there:

Commenting on a Sunday Times report in which private doctor Mark Bonar claims to have prescribed banned performance-enhancing drugs to (among others) Leicester City players, Lineker said:

‘You can either play football or you can’t.  It might improve your stamina a little bit, I’m not an expert, but it ain’t gonna help you pass…it won’t make you a better player – it’s not cycling or athletics.’ 

Because fitness has absolutely nothing to do with playing ability?  

Lineker’s persistent disingenuous wide-eyed cascade of bullshit is systemic of the hysterical media led narrative surrounding Leicester City.  No amount of diving, time wasting, toe punting, racism, abuse and throwing of projectiles by fans at match officials, or tens of millions of pounds spent on players is going to get in the way of this “rags-to-riches” story.      

No sir.  Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.  

As for Lineker (and we love him really) his genuine unashamed bias would be forgivable if he wasn’t defending a cheating diving racist. 

IT’S A FAIRYTALE MUMMY!

GITG

GITG | TURKEY WATCH!

If you didn’t already think Turkish football was hilarious and mental and terrifying enough: 

Galatasary 2-1 Trabzonspor: Dursun sees red both metaphorically and literally as his side dwindles to 7 men 

Everyone’s favourite collection of consonants Trabzonspor made the headlines again as they went down to 7 men after player who showed red card to referee was himself sent off.  

Trabzonspor player Salih Dursun was sent off after taking the red card from referee Deniz Bitnel’s hand and brandishing it at him moments after his team mate had been sent off.

The referee made his way to an early bath, stripping off and cursing his performance before saying, “WAAAAIIITT A MINUITE!!!” and ran back on to the pitch to send Dursun off for being a cheeky cunt. 

Trabzonspor were left with just seven players, yet it wasn’t until a last minute Selcuk Inan penalty that Galatasaray were able to clinch a bizarre 2-1 victory.

This isn’t the first time this silly bugger of a club has been involved in such farcical antics.  

In October 2015 Trabzonspor president was banned for 280 days and fined 150,000 Turkish Lira after trying to keep referees locked in stadium overnight.   

Mentally ill: Ibrahim Hacıosmanoğlu

Trabzonspor club president demanded all four match officials were detained in the dressing room after they failed to award his team a penalty.

The actual president of Turkey had to personally intervene to ensure the release of the football referee who had been taken hostage by the Turkish club.

The club's president, Ibrahim Hacıosmanoğlu, ordered his team to lock the referee and his fellow match officials in the team's dressing room after the team were denied a penalty in their 2-2 draw with Gaziantepspor.

The mad bastard explained: “I told stadium security not to let the referees leave until the morning, until I arrived, but a very important person called me and asked me not to cause embarrassment in Turkey and around the world.”

Bit late for that mate.  

GITG