So the footballing anti-spectacle that is the African Cup Of Nations has been and gone for another year. Fans around the globe held their breath as their favourite players jetted off mid-season to get injured, get malaria and get shot. Thankfully, none of these events materialised. That's right, I am going to say that no one in this year's African Cup Of Nations got injured.
At the same, time David Attenborough was busy painting a picture of natural wonder and a world without football, itv said "HEY, WAIT ATTENBOROUGH. JUST WAIT A MINUTE, AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? THAT SOMETHING BEING PEOPLE AND FOOTBALL, AND PEOPLE PLAYING FOOTBALL?" And so on Saturday 19th January 2013, itv picked up the footballing baton and ran with it all the way to Sunday 10th February shouting, "IN YOUR FACE ATTENBOROUGH! HOW COULD YOU MISS THIS? SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS YOU OLD C-"
Unfortunately, if any of you did actually bother to watch itv's piss-poor coverage of the African Cup Of Nations 2013 you would have seen frankly just how missable it was. The opening day saw Angola take on North Africans Morocco, and South Africans South Africa took on Cape Verde. Both matches ended 0-0. Meanwhile on the BBC, Attenborough was pulling on viewers' heartstrings as he captured the moving moment a mother elephant actually cried because she couldn't milk her youngling. Much like the baby elephant in Attenborough's piece, my hopes of seeing decent football shrivelled up and perished.
Of the 32 matches played in all, 14 ended in draws. None, thankfully, ended in riots. This is particularly thanks to the disqualification of African bad boys Senegal from this year's competition following the riot that caused their play-off against African cool dudes Ivory Coast to be abandoned. Ivory Coast (not to be confused with Ivy Coast, or Ivory Coat) were awarded the match 2-0 and granted safe passage to the finals. Unfortunately for Sabri Lamouchi's men, they were unable to take full advantage of the bye, losing 2-1 in the quarterfinal match against eventual overall winners Nigeria.
In a competition where Gervinho is supposedly one of the better players - and as this person points out on YouTube:
- the supporters were pretty much the only consistent source of entertainment throughout. Broad smiles, dances, splashes of colourful traditional dress and the banging of drums all lent to a real party atmosphere, and while it's easy for someone who only really followed the competition by very occasionally peering at the television screen, and through nervous conversations with cab drivers, to dismiss the Cup as being irrelevant, ill-timed, of a poor standard, it's clear that the African Cup Of Nations - at least for those who can afford a ticket - means a bunch.
And so, as the sun sets on another African Cup Of Nations we're left to ponder on what it is we've just seen exactly; and think things like why can't the competition be every four years? But conclude to ourselves that it's probably to do with life expectancy, or something.. And as Attenborough watches on from the safety of his BBC hide as a pack of lions gang rape a gazelle (speaking of which did you see the absolute target itv wheeled out to present its post match coverage? Her hair couldn't have been more blonde and her eyes couldn't have been more blue. Hiring her was actually racist. I mean seriously, I'm actually laughing. Seriously itv. YOU'RE SO BAD. If she doesn't end up in the Mercury I'll be very surprised.)
So too does the sun set on another blog.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
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