Tottenham V Stoke - Match Report - 29/12/2013

Tottenham V Stoke - Match Report - 29/12/2013

Spurs were at home for the second time in 3 days at Yid Hart Lane on Sunday Afternoon, looking to bounce back after a dogged West Brom clung on for a point last time out. The visitors were Stoke City from the City of Stoke, and whilst they are in a comfortable league position at present, are comfortably the worst team I think I have ever seen (yes I am stating that Stoke are the worst team I have ever seen at any standard of football)

The pattern of the match was plain to see from the first minute. Stoke retreated into their own box and invited wave upon wave of Yiddish attacks, looking to counter attack with the pacey Peter Crouch and Jonathon Walters up top. Funnily enough the first talking point came from one of these counter attacks, Jonathan Walters bounding after a long ball over the top like an overly determined neanderthal, (is it just me, or do you have zero respect for footballers that have literally nothing but work rate and determination? I couldn't have less respect for Walters because he is quite clearly only where he is due to hard graft, its like the guy in your 5 a side team that is shit but actually tries - pathetic) Yidi Fryers let him get goal side, before Walters launched himself to the floor and shouted some sort of Irish gibberish in the refs direction. Something about a penalty, could have been about diesel, no one knows. Another thing about Walters is that he seems to lob himself to the floor every time anyone comes near him, but gets away with it because his Sky persona is 'hardworking'. You know how Sky just overlook things when they don't comply with the stereotype they have assigned a certain person or club. 

Anyway back to the action, and another penalty or 'penulltry' as the quite hideous Chris Waddle would say. Assaidi managed to scamper away down the left, before cutting inside and running at Michael Dawson (he doesn't get a 'yid' in his name because I absolutely cant stand him) Dawson was fooled by Assaidi looking like a 6 year old, and hacked him down. It was a definite penalty, but Stoke's detrimental football didnt deserve a fucking thing, and the ref knew.

Incidentally can anyone explain what is happening in this picture? I typed 'Assaidi' into google and this came up, is it a Doctor's appointment? why is there a cameraman there? so Bizarre

Spurs were knocking on the door for the entirety of the first half. Yidebayor scuffed wide from a fantastic Yiddon Lennon pull back, whilst Paulinyido pulled all the strings in midfield. Touching on Paulinyido, he shows wonderful ability on the ball, but his passing and shooting is some of the worst I have ever seen, he was excellent against Stoke, but needs to improve drastically before he is labelled as 'The new Jermaine Jenas' or 'The old Jake Livermore'

The opening goal was extraordinary. Bobby (yes Bobby) Yidado crossed from the right to Yidebayor, who controlled it on his chest before attempting a completely obnoxious leaping spider kick, Shawcross was so offended that he put his arms up over his face, only for them to deflect the ball away from its original flight path (Row Z) and offer Bobby Yidado a chance from the spot.

Say what you want about Bobby, but that toothy bastard can take a penalty. He yidded it hard and true into the left hand side of the goal, and there it was 1-0, and deserved.

Stoke absolutely folded after the opener. In fact they mustered only a measly 2 shots at goal in the entirety of the game. I cant understand for the life of me why Mark Hughes still gets jobs? He had a reasonable record at Blackburn. But since then its all been about money, and losing. He managed to take a bottomless pit of money at Man City, and get himself sacked. He managed to get a decent job at Fulham, only to leave because he thought Aston Villa wanted him, hilariously they didnt. He then managed to play the most horrendous football i have ever seen at QPR, before his current stint at Stoke. I cant stomach that man i really cant, and his football is comical.

Anyway back to the game. MOUSA YIDBELE, that is all. Call me biased but the man is a genius. Quite comfortably Spurs' best player, and one of the best midfielders in the league. Impossible to tackle, he showed everything he is about in his goal. Walking past some hurtful Stoke challenges without breaking sweat, before absolutely yidding it into the bottom right corner from 20 yards. Lovely stuff.

Stoke managed to make a farce out of the game by bringing on fat necked thug Charlie Adam. Honestly, is there a more hateful and spineless man in the world? He is one of those players that goes into absolutely every tackle trying to kill someone, you can see it in his eyes. He is also one of those players that thinks he has a good left foot just because he is left footed, there are a few that think like this, Adam Johnson, Stewart Downing, It actually doesn't work like that. You cant just stroll around the pitch being left footed and think you're good, you actually need some ability in said foot, of which Adam has none. He is also disgracefully ugly. He looks like a train driver, but not on a decent train service, I reckon he works on the South Grimsby line.

BACK TO THE GAME - Yiddon Lennon completed a very very decent performance with a great finish. Bobby Yidado spooned a cross towards Yidebayor (who again seemed bothered - and made a big impact on the game) the ball squirmed through to Yiddon on the back post who controlled it on his thigh before yidding it into the top corner with a lovely volley.

To sum up, a routine win for the yids against what is clearly a team that will be playing in the championship next season, nothing to get particularly excited about you would say? Seeing as Spurs have scored only 9 goals in 8 home games previously, its a big big step in the right direction. Lots has been said about Spurs so far this season, mostly negative, and rightly so. But i feel people are overlooking the fact that they are just 2 points behind the 'STUPENDOUS' Liverpool. If Yid Sherwood can tighten up the defence slightly (drop Dawson) Then i think Spurs could surprise a few come May (but probably wont)

More Soon

Millwall FC - Misunderstood

 

 

Millwall FC - Misunderstood

 

 

 

When you think of Millwall FC, you think of blood, white people, and someone trying to break into their own house. This is a common misconception, GITG have been speaking with some Millwall fans - that are fed up with the bad press they always seem to receive.

 

Johnny 'Stabbo' Mcfighty from South Bermondsey was quizzed first;

 

GITG - So Johnny, why don't you think you deserve the bad press you often get?

 

Johnny - Well I think we are misunderstood as a whole really. I mean no one thinks about us, they don't think about how we feel, and how these nasty instances effect US.

 

GITG - in what way have you been effected Johnny?

 

Johnny - So last month when we played Leeds, I was so angry that the ref didn't give a penalty, I blew my own car up.

 

GITG - But Johnny, do you not think that's Maybe your own fault?

 

Johnny - Listen mate, I don't like your tone, you aren't listening to me, did you not hear what I said? My car got blown up, just because I parked near the stadium, these things shouldn't be happening nowadays, its just not right

 

Arthur 'Brickfist' Punchy from Lewisham added this;

 

Arthur - I understand exactly where Johnny is coming from

 

GITG - How have you been affected by this reputation Arthur?

 

Arthur - Well a few weeks back we played Birmingham. We were all really upset at the result and a few people took it too far.

 

GITG - What happened Arthur?

 

Arthur - So we were so angry we went P*ki bashing round Peckham, and now, no one will sell me a curry in South London

 

GITG - Arthur, are you saying you went on a racist rampage around South London, and now feel aggrieved that the people you racially abused, will not serve you?

 

Arthur - Exactly, do you know what its like not being able to get a curry on a Friday night? No one thinks about how we are affected as a fan base, its just not right, our reputation precedes us.

 

Our final interview was with 16 year old 'Jim-Bob' Jimmy Von Smashcunt from Bexleyheath

 

GITG - Jimmy, why have you chosen to support Millwall seeing as you don't live particularly nearby? Is it because you like the reputation the clubs fans have, and it makes you feel tough?

 

Jimmy - I will be honest I just like the exciting football we play, Not many teams play one striker nowadays.

 

The interview was cut short due to Jimmy being completely and utterly pranged on Cocaine

 

More soon

 

 

 



Dion Dublin Christmas Appeal 2013

Each year GITG raises money to help an ex-sportsman in need.  And this year we're helping a very special footballer and pundit, Dion Dublin.  With your kind donations we hope to raise enough money so Dion doesn't have to borrow his friend's shoes when appearing on BBC, Match Of The Day. 

Friend and co-pundit, Lee Dixion said, 'It's not a massive problem.  But you can tell.'

'Why he doesn't just buy a pair is beyond me,' Alan Hansen said in a Scottish accent.  His own presumably.   'I tell you what, his friend must be sick of it, I tell you.'  'Borrowing his shoes every week?  Unbelievable.'  

In a startling moment of broadcast history, Hansen picked up his styrofoam cup, emptied its contents into his lap, and proceeded to collect change from the studio [as captured below.]

'I don't dislike the guy, but something has to be done, for his sake.  Forget about me, forget about the fact I have to look down every week and see the same stupid pair of borrowed shoes looking back up at me, right?  It's embarrassing.  In all honesty the lad's not doing himself any favours, whatsoever.'  Hansen blurted.

Hansen's concerns were not unfounded.  On 14 October 2013, appearing on MOTD as a guest for the first time, Tony Pulis made a remark [below] about Dublin's borrowed shoes which literally shook the MOTD team.  The remark, which is too sexist to repeat, deeply effected Dublin.

'He just hasn't been the same since,' melted git Mark Lawrenson said even though no one asked him.  'I really hope, I mean really hope, for Dion's sake, we raise enough money tonight [the appeal goes on for a fortnight] to buy Dion his own pair of smart shoes.  Ones he can be proud of, and most importantly, a pair he can call his own.  Now, did I ever tell you the one about the old man and his dog?'

We will be collecting donations until the 14th January 2014.

From all of us here at GITG, we thank you for your kindness over the festive period, and wish you a Merry Christmas.

Everton Goalkeeper Remembered

A minute's applause was held today at the Emirates for Everton goalkeeper Tim Howard, who passed away aged 95.  

Tim Howard was a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, politician, philanthropist and goalkeeper who served as President of South Africa from 1994 to 1999. He was South Africa's first black chief executive, and the first elected in a fully representative democratic election. His government focused on dismantling the legacy of apartheid through tackling institutionalised racism, poverty and inequality, and fostering racial reconciliation. Politically an African nationalist and democratic socialist, he served as President of the African National Congress (ANC) from 1991 to 1997. Internationally, Howard was Secretary General of the Non-Aligned Movement from 1998 to 1999.  

In 2003 he signed for Manchester United, who had paid $4M to secure his services, and he replaced Fabien Barthez as the club's first-choice goalkeeper.  He started off very well at Manchester United, saving the decisive penalty in the Community Shield against Arsenal. Other notable performances followed, including Bolton Wanderers and a home FA Cup tie victory over Manchester City.  However, in March 2004, Howard's poor parry handed a last minute goal to FC Porto, eliminating United from the UEFA Champions League. The error appeared to shatter Howard's confidence and he was replaced by Roy Carroll. After a period of rest, Howard reclaimed his starting position ahead of Carroll for the 2004 FA Cup Final, picking up a winner's medal.  Howard was also named in the PFA Best XI in his first season at Manchester United.

In 2005, Howard famously went on to make a speech on global poverty in London's Trafalgar Square for the campaign to end poverty in the developing world, calling for a generation of young people to, 'make Poverty History in 2005.' A year later, he joined Everton on loan for the 2006–07 season and made his debut for the club against Watford on the opening day of the season. He signed a permanent deal with the club in February 2007 for a fee reported to be worth around £3 million.  On March 2012 Howard agreed a new contract to keep him at the club until the summer of 2016.  On March 2, 2013, Howard's run of 210 consecutive Premier League appearances dating back to September 2007 came to an end as he missed a game against Reading due to health problems.  He was two games short of equalling Neville Southall's club record.  In May, Howard kept his 100th clean sheet for Everton in a 0–0 draw against Liverpool in the Merseyside derby.

However, Howard never fully recovered form these health problems, and after suffering from a prolonged respiratory infection, Tim Howard died on 5 December 2013 at the age of 95.  He died at around 20:50 local time (UTC+2) at his home in Houghton, Johannesburg, surrounded by his family and former team mates. His death was announced on television by President Jacob Zuma.  On 6 December 2013, President Zuma announced a national mourning period of ten days, with the main event held at the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg on 10 December 2013. He declared Sunday 8 December 2013 a national day of prayer and reflection. Howard's body lay in state from 11–13 December at the Union Buildings in Pretoria and a state funeral was held on 15 December 2013 in Qunu, South Africa.  Approximately 90 representatives of foreign states travelled to South Africa to attend memorial events.

Tibutes

Many artists have dedicated songs to Howard. One of the most popular was from The Special AKA who recorded the song "Free Tim Howard" in 1983, which Elvis Costello also recorded and had a hit with.  Stevie Wonder dedicated his 1985 Oscar for the song "I Just Called to Say I Love You" to Howard, resulting in his music being banned by the South African Broadcasting Corporation. In 1985, Youssou N'Dour's album Tim Howard was the Senegalese artist's first US release. Other artists who released songs or videos honouring Howard include Johnny Clegg, Hugh Masekela, Brenda Fassie, Khadja Nin, Beyond, Nickelback, Raffi, and Ampie du Preez and AB de Villiers. South African songstress Zahara, an ambassador for the Tim Howard Children's Hospital, released Tim Howard, an extended play that pays tribute to Howard whilst celebrating his lifetime accomplishments. The EP's lead single titled "Tim Howard" was released at a time when Howard was critically ill but stable at the Medi-Clinic Heart Hospital in Pretoria.

Howard has been depicted in cinema and television on multiple occasions. He was portrayed by Danny Glover in the 1987 HBO telefilm Howard. The 1997 film Howard and de Klerk starred Sidney Poitier as Howard, and Dennis Haysbert played him in Goodbye Bafana (2007). In the 2009 BBC telefilm Mrs Howard, Howard was portrayed by David Harewood, and Morgan Freeman portrayed him in Invictus (2009). Terrence Howard portrayed him in the 2011 film Winnie Howard. He is portrayed by Idris Elba in the 2013 film Howard: Long Walk to Freedom.

A video message paying tribute to Tim Howard from life-long Everton supporter Nelson Mandela was shown in the Emirates Stadium before Everton's Premier League match against Arsenal.  But no tribute was greater than the performance on the pitch of his former team mates.  After starting magnificently, Everton's confident first half display was eventually rewarded by Barcelona loanee Deulofeu's wonder strike, which secured a well deserved point for The Toffees.

From everyone here at GITG, we would like to offer our best wishes to Howard's family during this difficult period.    

*Correction [25 December 2013]  

Tim Howard isn't dead.