Tottenham V Stoke - Match Report - 29/12/2013
The pattern of the match was plain to see from the first minute. Stoke retreated into their own box and invited wave upon wave of Yiddish attacks, looking to counter attack with the pacey Peter Crouch and Jonathon Walters up top. Funnily enough the first talking point came from one of these counter attacks, Jonathan Walters bounding after a long ball over the top like an overly determined neanderthal, (is it just me, or do you have zero respect for footballers that have literally nothing but work rate and determination? I couldn't have less respect for Walters because he is quite clearly only where he is due to hard graft, its like the guy in your 5 a side team that is shit but actually tries - pathetic) Yidi Fryers let him get goal side, before Walters launched himself to the floor and shouted some sort of Irish gibberish in the refs direction. Something about a penalty, could have been about diesel, no one knows. Another thing about Walters is that he seems to lob himself to the floor every time anyone comes near him, but gets away with it because his Sky persona is 'hardworking'. You know how Sky just overlook things when they don't comply with the stereotype they have assigned a certain person or club.
Anyway back to the action, and another penalty or 'penulltry' as the quite hideous Chris Waddle would say. Assaidi managed to scamper away down the left, before cutting inside and running at Michael Dawson (he doesn't get a 'yid' in his name because I absolutely cant stand him) Dawson was fooled by Assaidi looking like a 6 year old, and hacked him down. It was a definite penalty, but Stoke's detrimental football didnt deserve a fucking thing, and the ref knew.
Incidentally can anyone explain what is happening in this picture? I typed 'Assaidi' into google and this came up, is it a Doctor's appointment? why is there a cameraman there? so Bizarre
Spurs were knocking on the door for the entirety of the first half. Yidebayor scuffed wide from a fantastic Yiddon Lennon pull back, whilst Paulinyido pulled all the strings in midfield. Touching on Paulinyido, he shows wonderful ability on the ball, but his passing and shooting is some of the worst I have ever seen, he was excellent against Stoke, but needs to improve drastically before he is labelled as 'The new Jermaine Jenas' or 'The old Jake Livermore'
The opening goal was extraordinary. Bobby (yes Bobby) Yidado crossed from the right to Yidebayor, who controlled it on his chest before attempting a completely obnoxious leaping spider kick, Shawcross was so offended that he put his arms up over his face, only for them to deflect the ball away from its original flight path (Row Z) and offer Bobby Yidado a chance from the spot.
Say what you want about Bobby, but that toothy bastard can take a penalty. He yidded it hard and true into the left hand side of the goal, and there it was 1-0, and deserved.
Stoke absolutely folded after the opener. In fact they mustered only a measly 2 shots at goal in the entirety of the game. I cant understand for the life of me why Mark Hughes still gets jobs? He had a reasonable record at Blackburn. But since then its all been about money, and losing. He managed to take a bottomless pit of money at Man City, and get himself sacked. He managed to get a decent job at Fulham, only to leave because he thought Aston Villa wanted him, hilariously they didnt. He then managed to play the most horrendous football i have ever seen at QPR, before his current stint at Stoke. I cant stomach that man i really cant, and his football is comical.
Anyway back to the game. MOUSA YIDBELE, that is all. Call me biased but the man is a genius. Quite comfortably Spurs' best player, and one of the best midfielders in the league. Impossible to tackle, he showed everything he is about in his goal. Walking past some hurtful Stoke challenges without breaking sweat, before absolutely yidding it into the bottom right corner from 20 yards. Lovely stuff.
Stoke managed to make a farce out of the game by bringing on fat necked thug Charlie Adam. Honestly, is there a more hateful and spineless man in the world? He is one of those players that goes into absolutely every tackle trying to kill someone, you can see it in his eyes. He is also one of those players that thinks he has a good left foot just because he is left footed, there are a few that think like this, Adam Johnson, Stewart Downing, It actually doesn't work like that. You cant just stroll around the pitch being left footed and think you're good, you actually need some ability in said foot, of which Adam has none. He is also disgracefully ugly. He looks like a train driver, but not on a decent train service, I reckon he works on the South Grimsby line.
BACK TO THE GAME - Yiddon Lennon completed a very very decent performance with a great finish. Bobby Yidado spooned a cross towards Yidebayor (who again seemed bothered - and made a big impact on the game) the ball squirmed through to Yiddon on the back post who controlled it on his thigh before yidding it into the top corner with a lovely volley.
To sum up, a routine win for the yids against what is clearly a team that will be playing in the championship next season, nothing to get particularly excited about you would say? Seeing as Spurs have scored only 9 goals in 8 home games previously, its a big big step in the right direction. Lots has been said about Spurs so far this season, mostly negative, and rightly so. But i feel people are overlooking the fact that they are just 2 points behind the 'STUPENDOUS' Liverpool. If Yid Sherwood can tighten up the defence slightly (drop Dawson) Then i think Spurs could surprise a few come May (but probably wont)
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