West Ham United have today confirmed that they will be rebranding to align with fans' expectations.
'They act like they support Real Madrid so that's what we're going to give them,' said co-owner David Sullivan. 'It's a toss up between Real Ham and West Madrid.'
Taking a break from his busy schedule, West Ham supporter Reggie Crayford Biggs told GITG: 'To me we already support Real Madrid so I can't understand why we aren't playing like it. Why isn't Ronaldo scoring a hattrick every game? Why aren't we top of the league? I don't understand.'
However, in an interview with TalkSport, an audibly fed up and northern Sam Allardyce told presenters: 'What do they [the fans] expect? They act like five 0-0s is somehow not in-keeping with the club's mundane contribution to the game. They say if you can't win don't lose...five points and five clean sheets doesn't sound bad to me.'
'I'd be happy with West Madrid,' he added.
In an era of mad foreign owners resembling Bond super villains swooping in and feeding managers to sharks with lasers on their heads, or in Cardiff's case, changing the strip to grey jump suits with yellow piping, David Sullivan isn't afraid to make drastic changes. And why should he be?
'Why should I be?' Sullivan asked journalists why should he be. 'I'll tell you why I should I be, the fans already behave like they support Real Madrid, booing after every match because we didn't beat Man City 7-0, so in a sense renaming the club wouldn't be changing anything, in fact it would be adjusting to what already exists - an unfounded, delusional and bizarre sense of entitlement.'
West Madrid are to conduct all dealings with the press in Spanish, and bid no less than €40M for any player. Sullivan has also stated that he intends to seek planning permission from Spanish officials to build a 90,000 seater stadium in Madrid, which he will name Champions of the Galaxy Park.
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