‘THE OLD UNITED ARE BACK!!’
screeched an illiterate journalist working for daily celebrity magazine The Sun after the come-from-behind
victory a few weeks back. It was against Middlesbrough, a club whose name even
suggests they are nothing more than average.
‘But two late goals, mummy?'
'Just like Ferguson used to do, mummy?’
‘Mummy? Mum?’ – Wind your neck in Toddy, even mummy knows this is utter bollocks.
After outspending the whole
league in the Summer and winning 3 games on the bounce (against Bournemouth,
Southampton and Hull) Mourinho stated in his own brand of gobshitey arrogance
that he of course is intending to win the league and had a dig at any manager
who isn’t aiming to do so. And who could blame him? The brilliant Pogba was
brought to inject the pace and energy into a sluggish midfield, Mkhitaryan - a
man whose name looks like someone has just angrily sweeped a Scrabble board off
the table because a pissed up Auntie Sue is making up words again- was added to
provide a direct goal threat from midfield and Ibrahimovic was bought to score
bags of goals and be hilarious. Bailly was also brought in and all 4 have been
successful to some degree, so it was a well-played transfer window from
Mourinho and United.
But then they started
losing. City beat them at Old Trafford and City have since been found out to be
a bag of shite. Then Feyenoord and Watford beat them. Then Chelsea thrashed
them. Draws at home to West Ham, Stoke and Burnley came in between. So what did
Mourinho have to say now? Oh yeah, of course – his squad isn’t good enough to
win the league. So there you go United fans, Mourinho was briefly swept away by
stunning wins against three awful to average teams but now he can see that a
team full of internationals is not capable of winning a title currently held by
Leicester City.
United are currently
sitting in sixth place after spending the most money of all Premier League
teams. That is a failure no matter how it is spun in the media.
What’s worse is that
Mourinho is also ruining the future of the club. Martial, Rashford, Shaw,
Fosu-Mensah and Andreas Pereira have all previously been tipped to lead the
club into the future, but have all been marginalised to varying degrees.
Reports of Rashford going to the bubble-infested running track at nightmarish
club West Ham on loan were troubling, as is Martial’s obvious discontent and
subsequent link with Sevilla.
In Shaw's case, when a
half-arsed Darmian is playing out of position ahead of you there must be
something wrong. Is it Shaw’s lack of application in training? No, in a word.
So is it Mourinho being a stubborn prat? Yes, most probably. Shaw, along with
Martial and Rashers were the shining lights in traumatic season for United last
term, but then Mr Face Like A Smacked Arse pulls up and couldn’t possibly play
anyone who displays youthful exuberance. Where is the fun in that? Martial had
his squad number wrenched from him to give to a 35 year old coming in. Is he
supposed to be thrilled? Imagine if your boss took your chair away and gave it
to a new recruit and left you sitting on a piled up stack of paper. That is
exactly the same as this, I believe, and it frankly reeks of shortsightedness
and is poor management in any man’s book.
Did you see the news this
weekend? Yeah of course you did – Rooney broke the record. Amazing, incredible,
wonderful……oh and United drew against a poor Stoke side, managed by a confused
and aggressive badger. But what about Rooney ay...
Genuinely, Mourinho does
not like football. He never comments on a moment of brilliance and feels
disturbed by the prospect of an entertaining game. But you can’t knock a coach
who has won loads of trophies, can you? But if he keeps this up and finishes
sixth then I’ll be knocking him into next fucking week*
GITG
*(ed) Not a physical threat against Mr Mourinho
Man city spent the most this summer but don't let the truth ruin a good narrative. Really hope you don't get paid for this shite
ReplyDeleteSince Gabriel didn't join City until now his £27m fee was discounted as part of their summer spend, which meant United spent £2m more. But don't let the truth stop you from being a miserable misinformed cunt.
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